Are You Surviving or Thriving During a Breakup/Divorce?

by Laura Smith

How do you choose to view your breakup or divorce? Are you at the point of barely surviving? Struggling with each day? Well, there comes a time - and yes, it will come even if you don't believe me right now - where you'll turn "surviving" into "thriving." How do I know? Because it happened to me, too.

This reminds me of a scene in the movie Bridesmaids. Do you remember where Megan meets Annie and is describing her fall off a cruise ship? According to her, she "broke a lot of shit. But I'm not gonna to say I survived. I'm gonna say I thrived." After seeing this again recently, I thought to myself, "Gee, Megan's right. We all have a choice during hard times, and we have power over our perspective."

You see, you can't really change the situation, itself. You are dealing with a divorce or breakup. It stinks at times but what's the difference between surviving and thriving?

Surviving is just what the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as ~ to continue to function or prosper despite. Interesting that even Merriam-Webster (whoever they are) put the words function and prosper into the definition as those words mean different things. This, of course, fits nicely into this article because, there again, you can choose to merely function or to prosper despite the situation. So I ask you: Which one sounds better? Surviving is sometimes all you can muster for a day ~ especially if it's a tough one. Even on those days though, doesn't thriving sound more fun?

How do you get to the thriving, though? Well, I've got a few tips to help you along.

1. Reflect and learn. Even when a relationship ends and you feel like you know what, there's usually a ton to learn about yourself and relationships if you look for the golden nugget of knowledge that's available to you. How does looking back help? Well, you can see things that you liked and didn't like and either recreate them or make a solemn promise to yourself that you'll love yourself enough to never be in that kind of relationship again.

2. Be kind to you. Yes, this is a recurrent theme in my articles because why? Because IT WORKS. Paying attention to yourself and being ultra gentle to you is a great habit to begin or strengthen during a difficult divorce or breakup. After all, you're all you've got. Since I'm guessing you've got a little extra time on your hands because you're single now, how about doing something nice for you?

3. Kick negativity to the curb.'s easy to focus on the so-called "rotten hand" you've been dealt. It's human nature. I get it. But how would it feel to begin focusing on the good instead? Right now, you could write down ten things that you're grateful for and change your mood instantly. You could call one of your friends and tell her how much her friendship means to you. You could compliment someone and make them feel great about themselves. There's plenty of ways to take the edge off and put a smile on your face as you go through your day. Why not make the decision to be happier and spread some joy?

So it really comes down to what you want to do with your day. My question is: Are you going to survive or ARE YOU GOING TO THRIVE? If you're the Hip Chick I think you are, I know you'll declare your superpowers and THRIVE!!!

Laura Smith is the Chief Groovy Chick at The Breakup Lounge ~ a business devoted to helping women with broken hearts get their groovy back. She truly understands the whirlwind of emotions and stress that can occur when a relationship ends. She loves helping women end the heartbreak and get back to their sassy selves! Visit her at

Next: "Avoid the Breakup!" >>>

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