5 Steps to Moving on after a Breakup

Author: Raymond Ehoma

When breakups occur in our lives and we have lost a good relationship due to possible irreconcilable differences between us and our partner, we grieve but then like all other things in life, we must pick ourselves up and move on.

In order to move on with our life after a painful breakup, the following suggestions would go a long way to help you heal faster and prepare us for a more fruitful relationship.

Come to terms with your feelings
First thing you should do after a breakup is come to terms with your feelings; you cannot just suppress them and think they will go away just like that. You must work through them. You must accept the pain that a breakup brings along with it and make peace with it. Take it in good-faith that it has happened; forgive your partner for whatever role they might have played in the breakup. Making peace with your inner self and dealing with your emotions will fast track the healing process faster than you could imagine.

Most times it is best to agree with your ex that there were problems with the relationship and that you respect his or her position and hope the best for him or her in their future relationships. An amicable approach such as this leaves room for any possible reunion given that the relationship was not an abusive one.

Avoid the blame game
As a rule do not dwell on what might have been in the relationship. Once the breakup has happened it does not matter whose fault it is and therefore we should avoid apportioning blames either on ourselves or our former partner. Things often happen in life that we have no control over and all we can do is what is within our power and to leave the rest to God.

Always remember that everything that happened is not your fault as it "takes two to tango". Accept the fact that time itself is a great leveller and that the breakup itself might have done you some good that you are failing to appreciate. It is time that reveals the true personality of our significant other.

Get rid of all reminders
One practical thing to do when moving on after a breakup is to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex. At this stage you do not need anything that will trigger memories you would rather forget. It is necessary to delete telephone numbers, remove his or her pictures from your house, and store the present they might have given you. You do not need to destroy them but just get them out of sight so that you do not have to see them on a daily basis.

Learn from your past relationships
After a breakup, most people fail to retrospectively go over the possible or obvious reasons for the breakup and sometimes first go about trying to savage it. The greatest part of a breakup should be the lessons you learn. Everything that happens to you in life has a lesson to teach and breakup also has lessons it wants to teach us that we might fail to learn if we do not open up our minds.

What were the things you did well in the relationship? What could you have done differently? What have you learned from the breakup? These are salient points you need to think over and bring the positive points into your new relationship learning to avoid the mistakes of the past breakup. A breakup might really present you an opportunity to improve yourself as a person, and be better adjusted for a more successful relationship.

Recognise when you are ready to love again
Finally, you need to recognise when you need to get over the breakup and start moving on. When frustration starts setting in after the breakup, you should know that this is a signal to move on. Also, by the time you have dealt with your feelings and emotions about the breakup and you have let all the frustration and bitterness to go, you will come to realise that your heart will now be open and willing to love again.

You should start thinking more about how to improve yourself and never stop looking after your mental and physical health. You need to keep yourself in shape and learn to love yourself more as these would be helpful in your future relationships. You should not forget that how long it takes for you to get over the breakup entirely depends on you and your willingness to follow these guidelines.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/5-steps-to-moving-on-after-a-breakup-2400794.html

About the Author

Raymond Ehoma is the webmaster of http://www.loving-relationship.com/ a site dedicated to discovering and celebrating the possibilities and richness of a truly Loving and Romantic Relationship. Get loads of incisive and practical tips, articles and resources to help heal the wounds of a breakup, get your ex back, get back stronger and better poised to find that happy, stable and successful relationship of your dream.

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